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Styles of Giving

Posted on: July 10th, 2013 by bubbyjoysandoys 4 Comments

Enjoyed this? Share it, and attribute it. Copyright 2014, Bubby Joys and Oys, M. Hendeles

There has been some research out there about how people show their love. How Do You Show Love?

Some say “I love you” and others give presents.

Some show their affection through touch and hugging and others do so through listening carefully to what their loved ones are saying.

Some give food, others give presents. Some give time and others give money. Much has been written about this topic of love styles in relationships. People show love in various ways and the differences between people can cause friction.

According to conversations I have had others say that occasionally there is a block between the giver and the receiver, particularly when their styles of giving and receiving are different.

Let’s say I as a mother-in-law offer my daughter-in-law some food for dinner. A typical conversation would go like this:

“Hi – I have some pizza left over from last night. Do you want to stop by and pick some up to give the kids for  dinner tonight?

“Oh – that’s great. Thanks.”

All is well. Now what if she says the following?

“Uh…thanks but I made dinner already.”

Now here’s where my giving style kicks in one way or another:

Way #1: So take the pizza and put it in the freezer?

Way #2: Oh that’s great! You don’t need the pizza now. Uh – can I give you some money for dinner?

It all depends on what my motivation is as a mother-in-law – to give according to my way of showing love through food. Or to give according to another way.

Bottom line is I try to vary my style of giving to people – I have my preferences as it’s always convenient to do things the way that works for me. But sometimes it helps when I think of the person and whether that works for them.

Because if they tell me that they don’t need it, no sense offering it to them.

It’s hard to carry out but it avoids lots of confusion for the giver.

Whether we are the giver or the givee (receiver), it helps to keep an open mind to other folks’ styles of giving. We just might be dealing with someone who likes to show his or her love through……………..something very different than we are used to.

Smile – and say thank you!

What are some interesting giving styles you have encountered in your relationships lately? Feel free to share in the comment section below.

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4 Responses

  1. Interesting post. Had me thinking about my style. Mostly when I offer I’m not refused— they like my cooking! I have to keep straight who eats what and think about kashrut laws but usually my contributions are appreciated– thankfully!

  2. lexiesnana says:

    Yikes! I guess when I have offered something of food no one has ever turned me down. I am going to have to think about this. Food for thought no pun intended.

  3. OmaOrBubby says:

    Well since you and the other poster agree that couples don’t turn down food from parents, I will have to be the one to think about that and wonder about my food presentation to them!. Hmmmm. Thanks for your comment!

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