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The Empty Nest Celebrated

Posted on: July 18th, 2013 by bubbyjoysandoys 7 Comments

Enjoyed this? Share it, and attribute it. Copyright 2014, Bubby Joys and Oys, M. Hendeles

It’s almost there. Hasn’t happened yet, but will be a-happening soon. We’ve been preparing this for about 30 plus years, and now it’s finally going to be a reality. lovenest

The  Empty Nest is emerging.

Yes, in a couple weeks, our youngest son is heading out-of-town, off to post-high school yeshiva. That means, my husband and I will be alone in the house for the most part with no minors living at home anymore. (if you don’t count our married and adult kids plus grandchildren inhabiting our space informally…).

All these things are to be unfolded as we enter the new and emerging stage in our lives – one which I call the Empty Nest Celebration.

In the Empty Nest Syndrome, “syndrome” implies a set of signs that signify discontent. And to me it is not discontent, but rather celebration.

I’m kind of excited about it.  Contrary to the typical moaning and groaning that I’ve heard and read about from new empty-nesters, (“oh – I am so sad; I’m going to miss him so much. I feel so lonely and useless without a child at home…”), I’m neither moaning, nor groaning.

I’m greeting this new stage in my life with excitement and wonder.

In fact, I’ve been preparing for it psychologically for many months now. As I, ever the eager mom, plan the shopping for linen and share that with my reluctant son who is not much of a shopper, (“Oh Ma, can’t I just take some linen from the linen closet?”) and mention to him about new pants, shirts and underwear (“Ma, I have enough. It’s okay…“) and some winter jackets (“Ma, Really? It gets cold on the East Coast? Oh right!”), I think about the emotional meaning behind the emptying of our nest, rather than the monetary emptying of our wallets.

I think about what this will mean for my husband and me. Will we bond even more? Will we discover things about each other that we didn’t have time to realize because the discussions always revolved around the day to day matters of the children? Will we we sit together over dinner – just the two of us and chat about our day like the old days before the kids arrived? Or something like that?

How has it been for you, my fellow emerging empty nesters?

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7 Responses

  1. Joan Ziff says:

    I loved you article and how you reframed it from Empty Nest Syndrome to Celebration! That about sums it up! We are having a wonderful time, though every situation is different, and every marriage too. All in all, it is a time of great production and clear perspectives-there is great joy in knowing that our children have their own active and busy lives, and that we are free to just be there for them if they need us.

    • OmaOrBubby says:

      So true! Well said, Joanie. Having the space to be back as a couple is a wonderful thing, after all the years of being resident Mommy and Dadddy. Thanks so much for the comment!

  2. We’ve been EN since our daughter left for college. She just graduated and is now moving to San Francisco in a few weeks. I think it will hit more then since that seems so much more “grown up” than being away at college. The good thing is they come home! We’ve discovered road biking — nice way to spend time together and get exercise. And I guess we watch more movies too.

  3. coastalmom says:

    I started my blog because of my empty nest and it was back when blogging was kind of new… at least to me… as a writer… it was a place for me to store snippits of my book I am writing…. and hopefully be encouraged to actually finish it! In the beginning I went through a rough time… now I can actually say it is survivable. Though I worked full time through the whole ordeal…. I was not sure if I missed one of my very best friends more than I thought I would or was a little envious of my own baby’s life! All fresh and new!
    But I’ve realized that I just need to get out of the way of me and start living my dream… rather than surviving my daughter living hers.
    Glad I found this. I always want to be of help this time of year… to all of those poor new empty nester mamas who still are finding baby feathers at the bottom of their nests!
    xoxo

  4. OmaOrBubby says:

    Thanks for your comment! Writing about our stage of life and experiences has been therapeutic. Good luck to you. It sure sounds like you have a good outlook. Thanks for visiting my blog.

  5. […] I was a bit cocky and over-confident. I thought it was really no biggie. Look, I’ve sent kids off to camp, college, yeshiva and to friend’s for overnights. I […]

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