Contact Me

Any time - drop me an email
miriamhendeles@gmail.com
1-323-243-7116

Contact Me

Any time - drop me an email
miriamhendeles@gmail.com
1-323-243-7116

[breadcrumbs]

Letting Go of the Remote Control

An all-too familiar situation:

Here’s the scenario:  I see something going on in my surroundings – whether with my adult kids, or with a close friend, or even with a colleague at work.  I think about it a lot,  decide I know better, and make an assessment. A voice inside me says “stay out of it” but I don’t heed that voice. Another voice says, “help them, get involved, say something.”

Eeny meeny miney moe. Which voice to listen to? I listen to the second voice – the busybody one.

CLANG! I realize immediately that I shouldn’t have! Voice #1  inside me says, “you knew better than to get involved….”

Proactive or Reactive?

There is a new word the past decade or so: proactive. That refers to taking care of things ahead of time, planning for the future so that there is more chance of success.  Pushing the buttons on the Remote Control – the mechanism that thinks we can control and take care of everything in the world. We are going to save the day.

Proactive is a great thing. But usually “proactive” is for one’s own life. Not someone else’s life.

In fact, when one gets involved in someone else’s life, it often only complicates things for them —– and for us. It doesn’t help.

Shouting (to myself!) to Stop!

So when I read about people in books and periodicals who have dilemmas “should I or shouldn’t I?”…..I want to scream through the pages of the book, “DON’T!….. Stay out of it! It’s a train wreck!” But then again, I can’t tell them what to do. It’s their life to live (even if it’s just a fictional account in a book!).I think unless something is in a  life and death situation, or in a case of abuse or serious danger, OR if that person specifically asks for help (and even then it’s probably best to refer to professionals – a friend should never take the place of professionals), then it is best to stay out of it.

Prayer and relinquishing control:

Sometimes I really have to protect myself from places that I am not equipped to navigate the difficult waves.  Prayer always is a good thing. We can pray for the well-being of others, let G-d take over, relinquish control. And then give them love and encouragement.  And finally focus on the one place that we were given power to change: ourselves.


Out of the Mouths of Bubbies!

Ahhh…Grandmothers just say the most amazing things…don’t they (we?).

Bubby conversations. Or as I like to call them: Bubby Convo’s. Yes, whenever I talk to my friends, and especially my middle-aged (!) friends, many of whom are grandmothers, I learn so much from them. I am always surprised, impressed, excited, and enlightened when I hear a quotable quote from my friends who share my role as doting grandmother, but more so – insight-seeking grandmother.

And often that means that I have – you guessed it – more material for my blog, and other writing!

And so, I have decided to start something new: a collection of quotable quotes from my friends – those who have accumulated a great deal of life wisdom, and have come up with some great one liners.

Here is one:

From a 50-plus friend of mine – “I WANT TO DIE YOUNG AND GROW OLD”

How many of us bemoan the fact that we are growing older?

Well, what’s the alternative? (that was a rhetorical question – please don’t answer it).

Seriously, it’s a reminder to us that that growing old gracefully (whatever that means!) is our goal. With the help of G-d!

Another one:

From a 95 year old woman, very dear friend of our family, —spoken in convo to my husband and myself in a car ride home from a wedding –

“IT’S FUNNY – I STILL SEE YOU AS CHILDREN, AND  FORGET THAT YOUR GENERATION IS ALL GROWN UP…..”

How profound – another reminder to me – that “hey – I’m not the only one getting older! Everyone does too!! Get used to it, and try to relate…” (although it can be hard sometimes, as this wise woman recognized)

One more quote:

From a 50 plus friend of mine – as posted on her social media site online –

“IF ONLY THEY GAVE AN AWARD FOR PROCRASTINATION…..”

Gotta love her honesty.

And this one’s for you – my dear friend, Savta B, I followed your subsequent suggestion – that I blog about that quote! (without procrastinating? Huh?)

Stay tuned for more quotable quotes from the mouths of Bubbies, Savta’s and others……to be continued!


Subscribe to Blog!

Would you like to be notified of new posts? ENTER YOUR EMAIL HERE please and then look out for an email to CONFIRM your subscription.

Proud Member of Midlife Boulevard

Proud Member of Midlife Boulevard

Community

View Past Posts

WP-Backgrounds Lite by InoPlugs Web Design and Juwelier Schönmann 1010 Wien