Contact Me

Any time - drop me an email
miriamhendeles@gmail.com
1-323-243-7116

Contact Me

Any time - drop me an email
miriamhendeles@gmail.com
1-323-243-7116

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You Get What You Get…

Yes, you get what you get…and you don’t get upset! That’s the chant I’ve used with my music therapy groups of children when I passed out instruments. When some of the kids were a bit disgruntled with the particular maraca or bells they were handed, I used that chant as a reminder.  In fact, my own grandsons use this chant on each other.

“Hey, I got it first! You get what you get! Remember?” — he says to his cousin who has just laid claim to a truck or car that he felt was HIS.

“Everything we need to know in life has been learned in kindergarten” is a saying that keeps popping up in my mind’s eye when I realize how valuable these childlike lessons are.

It is all about my choices and perceptions of my lot in life.

I realize these days how God gives each one of us exactly what we need in life. I could pine and wish for that trip to Israel or Europe, but hey – it’s not happening yet. I could choose to be envious of those who take monthly getaways with their spouses. But I don’t. Instead I’m content with the lifestyle that I have.

I could decide to detest that person who somehow racks up all that mileage and manages to take a cruise to Alaska during the summer. But I don’t. I’m happy for them, and even happier for me for being healthy thank G-d, and able to stay comfortably in one place without traveling.

I could also be extremely jealous of said acquaintance whose husband has a job that enables them to get vacation more often than my own husband’s 3 weeks per year – which are mostly taken up by Jewish Holidays. But instead I tell myself that someday – when G-d means for this to happen – we will afford such a trip.

Similarly, I could be resentful of those who seem to have such an easy time staying slim, (okay, okay I’m a bit angry at those people). I could be mad at those who seem to be so calm, cool and collected and rarely (never?) raise their voices. I could find fault with these people because that would be an easy way for me to put them down (in order to raise myself). Instead, I choose to be happy with my lot.

You get the idea. It’s all in our perceptions. It’s all about how we see things. The cup half empty? Or the cup half full?

It is our choice to either be content with our lot, or not. We might as well appreciate our lot in life for what they are: gifts given to us by God, to be used. Not to be compared with others.

We get what we get. Great chant to sing – from kindergarten up to any age!


Practice Makes Perfect

After almost two weeks of non-steady blogging, I have some ‘splainin to do!  Well actually, instead of excusing or explaining why I have not been consistent about  my daily blog, I will move forward and reflect on what I have learned during that time. Yes, it was a very busy time for this Bubby. Busy cooking, entertaining, cleaning up, planning, hosting, and eating. But through it all we had lots of fun, and I like to think I learned a few things along the way.

Last week when we visited the California Science Center with all of our grandchildren, we saw an exhibit displaying the various forms of animals.One of the points of the display was to demonstrate how many of them perform quite high on intelligence tests and games.

Are animals really just as intelligent as humans? I honestly had my doubts about that exhibit in general, because it claimed that dolphins, crows and dogs and several other animals  are excellent at problem solving, communicating and other skills. For example, we watched on video a chimpanzee perform a numbers game with 100 percent accuracy. The exhibit demonstrated  how chimpanzees are cognitively able to memorize the placement of  a sequence of up to 9 digits that a computer lays out on a screen in specific positions.

Well, our grandsons played the same numbers game, and so when three generations of Hendeles members – ranging in ages from 4 to 59 — tried out the task, we were only able to perform up to 5 or 6 digits on the screen with perfect accuracy. That was in the five minutes that we stood at that exhibit and played the game. (We actually got quite engrossed — that-is me and the 4 and 5 year olds!– but my other sons were rushing us – “come on already….we have to move on…”)

I’m guessing that had we stayed there for another 10 or more minutes, our skill would have increased to similar to the chimpanzees. (or maybe not? hmmm) ..Even the sign next to the exhibit stated that the chimpanzees had a LOT of practice.

So practice makes perfect – is the way the saying goes.  But actually,  we humans don’t strive for perfection. That’s what I keep telling myself when I cook my eggs, run out of the house, and forget about them, and then wonder why I burnt the eggs for the third time in several days. (What’s that smell? I think when I walked into the house today after a myriad errand-running.)

Yes, it’s  not about perfection. It’s a matter of getting it more or less right most of the time. The food is delicious (that’s what they told me most of the time), the kids are happy (except when they are fighting), the adults are relaxed (more or less), and the Bubby is having a blast with all her nachas (all reading Bubbies may fill in the parenthesis here). The air conditioner broke last week (only the upstairs unit that-is!), but did work for most of the holiday. And now it works again!

My housekeeper decided not to show up a few times the past week (“sorry Mrs. Miriam, yo no puede trabaja pour usted manana…”) . But that’s okay. She showed up last week on Friday, and sent her sister-in-law another time (and a friend another time, and a cousin another time). So that’s more or less okay. Look – who asked us to need those cleaning ladies as if our lives depended on it??

It is how we perceive it. If we perceive it as an OY experience, then that becomes the reality. But, if we perceive it as a growth and learning experience, then that makes all the difference.

Practice Makes Perfect. Shmerfect!   And just like the chimpanzees, we can achieve our goals with lots of practice.  But – more appropriate to thinking, creative humans — not necessarily to perfection.  3 out of 4 – that’s 75 %! Now let’s try for 9 out of 10?  Go for it!

Have a great Fall 2012!


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