Contact Me

Any time - drop me an email
miriamhendeles@gmail.com
1-323-243-7116

Contact Me

Any time - drop me an email
miriamhendeles@gmail.com
1-323-243-7116

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To Bring or Not To Bring

To Bring Kids or Not to Bring?

That is the question on many young parents’ minds when they have a simcha to attend, and cannot find a babysitter. Especially when the simcha is that of a cousin or close friend, these parents feel that urge to take the sleeping baby along. Or to take the well-behaved toddler along and seat them on mommy’s lap. Or to take the pre-school child along and have them not take a seat.

But in many places– such as restaurants or fancier homes – children are just not welcome. Not that these hosts don’t like kids. It’s just that they feel the kids upset the decorum of the event.

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Shein, Voyl, und Klug

The Yiddish phrase – “shein, voyl, und klug” – in the title represents what my grandmother always said about us: Beautiful, good, and smart. And guess what? She wasn’t even prejudiced. She meant every word, and it was true! Her grandkids (us!) were the best…(at least in her unbiased opinion).

By contrast, my husband’s aunt would see any child – whether it was her own grandchild or that of someone else, and she would say, “A Leiben Auf Dem Kup” -which means, “I love that head…”

I was reminded of these two approaches the other night when I went to an event of a good friend of ours. The people hosting the event had their grandchildren there, and these kids (even though they were not my own grandkids), were admittedly very very very (many very’s here…) cute. I won’t say whose kids they were because the mom (and grandmother!) will kill me (well not literally, I guess..)

Anyway, I digress.

I was so enamored by these children. Their chein (charm), their beauty, their personalities. Now, may I add “poo,poo, poo” (Yiddish for “knock on wood” – check the glossary, k?)

I thought of my husband’s aunt who was able to enjoy other people’s kids. Thank G-d, I am able to see the beauty and charm in any child – children are precious, and I find them so irresistible. I love kids. I identified with my aunt-in-law who always gave cookies and treats to anyone who came into her large house. She loved all children.

It made me realize that this is one way I have possibly surpassed my grandmother’s somewhat primitive outlook of “only my kids are the best…”

It’s okay sometimes (most of the time)– and commendable — to appreciate others, as well as ourselves. It makes for good relationships and a more colorful life.


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