Contact Me

Any time - drop me an email
miriamhendeles@gmail.com
1-323-243-7116

Contact Me

Any time - drop me an email
miriamhendeles@gmail.com
1-323-243-7116

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What Kind of Mother-in-law Are You?

So – you’re looking back at your life and thinking about some past relationships with daughters, sons, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law….mothers-in-law, moms, dads….sisters….

If only I did it differently….I wish I know then what I knew now…I could kick myself over some of the things I said or did.

What was I thinking?

Stop. Don’t do that to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over the past, and chances are it wasn’t that bad.

Read my Guest Post on today’s guest author section in MiddleSage website.

Still – learn for the future. Are you doing your best to be NICE? Yes – I know they say that “nice guys finish last…” but still – when it comes to in-law relationships..it pays to take the high road.

Do you fit into any of the categories below?

a) You love your DIL’s and SIL’s  (that’s daughters-in-law and sons -in-law FYI), but you’re not so sure if you are mean or nice.

b) You just had a fight with your DIL or SIL and you are really angry at them. You’re convinced that they are wrong and you’re right.

c) You had a difficult experience with being bullied as a child, as a daughter-in-law, as an employee — and you’re worried that maybe you might repeat those abusive behaviors with your own children in -law.

d) People tell you that you have a mean-streak. Of course you don’t agree, but you just want to make sure.

e) None of the above- but you love to read good relationship advice.

There you have it – check out my Guest Post- the Seven Signs that You May Be a Bullying Mother-in-law
.


Stay Out of It…or not?

The question often comes up for many of us whether or not to get involved. Recently, I attended an evening class with some members of my synagogue, and we got into a somewhat lively (read: heated!) discussion. A particular scenario was described in which one woman’s daughter noted that her classmates were breaking a particular rule. The question for this woman was whether or not to counsel her daughter to report on the classmates.

Well, rather than discuss that back and forth of the various women in the group regarding this discussion (did I mention it got heated?), I will relate something that happened with my 4-year old grandson. (you thought I could go for one entire post without boasting – I mean describing him? Well, think again!).

And from that story of my grandson, we can (hopefully) glean some insight into how we, as adults can act.

Anyway, my daughter-in-law described to me the following conversation between herself, the Mommy and my (darling) grandson:

Child: Two boys in school today were fighting so badly, and were not letting Mashiach (the Messiah) come! I was so worried, and I tried telling them to stop fighting.

Mom: So did they stop?

Child: No, (looking sad) – they didn’t. They kept fighting and fighting.

Mom: So what happened?

Child: I tried more, and they still didn’t listen. So I told the teacher and she got them to be friends again.

My daughter-in-law then proceeded to explain to her son how G-d is proud of him for caring so much. But G-d really wants him to take care of himself – first and foremost.  Maybe those boys didn’t listen to him. It’s okay. He can’t change that.  As long as he is always nice to his friends (which he is…), (and doesn’t get hurt by the bullies? — is what this grandmother was thinking silently..??)

I’m not sure what else she told him, but it sounds like that was a powerful message for one 4-year old guy!

And I choose to take that message with me for my own everyday life!


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