Enjoyed this? Share it, and attribute it. Copyright 2014, Bubby Joys and Oys, M. Hendeles
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I often find myself sitting amongst people at a wedding, class, bar mitzvah or any random event. The conversation that I involuntarily overhear goes something like this:
“So what camp are you registering your kid in?”
“I’m putting him in a backyard day camp – where there are 10 kids, and it goes till 12 pm, which works well…”
“Really? Who is in charge there? Does she take kids who are not toilet trained yet?”
“I’m not sure – you’d have to ask her, but she’s really great with the kids…”
As I’m writing the above dialogue, I’m thinking that some young uns out there will read it and think several things: First, why in the world is a grandmother placed at the same table as younger folks? Good point. Don’t know the answer to that right now. Second, they will note that I got some of my facts wrong. Another good point. But honestly I only hear bits and pieces of the chatter. It’s a good chance that I am misquoting a typical convo.
I’ve been there and done that. I have moved on. And to tell you all the truth, I’m embarrassed to admit: I am somewhat clueless about all of that.
While five or six years ago, I was still involved in carpools, play dates, camps, and school choices, I am no longer in that stage anymore. I may have thought at the time that there was nothing more to life than the inevitable carpool at 7:30 am, 12 pm,, 4 pm and then 5 pm. Then turn around, eat dinner, put the kids to bed, and pick the next shift up at 9 pm from wherever they are.
Whether it was soccer practice, baseball, school, music lessons, doctor appointments, orthodontist, or a friend’s house, I practically lived in my van, accompanied by between three and five boys in the back seats.
And now? Do I live in my van? Yes, I still do. But in a different way. Although I drive the same van as I did all the years, (no, we didn’t “downsize”!!)…..I find that I have the grandsons in the backseat. And there’s more: The groceries, the junk, the old CD’s, and some new ones. My instruments that I take with me to clients, and other stuff. Yes, I have to say that my life has become more multi-faceted or to put it more bluntly “all over the place.” Between all my hobbies and obligations, sandwich generation activities, and community stuff, I find that my mind is scattered into lots of realms. And maybe it would be a good thing if I focused again on the here and the now of basic activities of daily living.
And although I like to say somewhat snobbishly, “OH been there and done that! Done!” …it’s really not true.
There’s always a time in life to do it again, and again, maybe a bit differently – and not exactly in the same way…but still moving those wheels of the van, driving the kids (grandkids) around. Running errands. ..and all the regular stuff we did as young moms. I long for that basic stuff. And I love those days when things are focused and normal. Not all over the place. (multi-tasking)
So even though I have no clue about play-dates, and camps, and schools and stuff like that, I better tune in. Those are important tasks – and decisions. Camp, school, playgroup, carpool. I may be needed to pitch in and give advice. And just because my mind may be on other things, it’s not an excuse. Besides: I certainly don’t want to seem like the old clueless Bubby. Do I?
Tags: advice, Bubby, camp, carpools, decisions, driving, memories, Mother-in-law Stuff, moving on, multi-task, new stages, reminiscence, sandwich generation