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A Glimpse Into Another World (A Guest Post)

Posted on: December 31st, 2014 by bubbyjoysandoys 6 Comments

Enjoyed this? Share it, and attribute it. Copyright 2014, Bubby Joys and Oys, M. Hendeles

globeIt’s almost January 1, 2014 2015. On to a new year.

First, I announce the winner of my giveaway from the commenters on my blog post on the Hanukkah Hoopla. The winner is: Lisa W from Cycling Grandma! I will send her a copy of my book, Mazel Tov! It’s a Bubby! (Israel Bookshop Publications, 2012). 

Here’s Lisa’s blog, if you have a chance to get a look! . (Thanks again, Renee Schuls-Jacobson, for planning the Hanukkah Hoopla!)

Next, I’d like to introduce Revital Belz from Israel, who blogs about being a Mom of five boys (sound familiar?). Revital has been published in the Jewish Journal, and blogs at  Ajudaica.com, where she enjoys creating stylish items for men, including personalized yarumulkas and T-shirts.

Enjoy Revital’s special simchas hachayim (Hebrew for joie de vivre) that comes through in her writing. Please feel free to comment below. Revital and I would love to read your thoughts!

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A GLIMPSE INTO ANOTHER WORLD by Revital Belz

I introduce myself as Revital, a mother who is  blessed with a large family.  revital

There is so much talk about these “wonder ladies” that I want to open a window and give you a peek.  It is a chance to share with you the joys and enormous satisfaction I derive from raising my large family.

I come from a traditional home but became strictly Orthodox in my teenage years.  I married at the age of 22 and today have five children ranging from two to ten with a set of twins in the middle.  In spite of my heavy home commitments, I work in our family Judaica business.  I know that I am a walking advertisement for motherhood so I make sure that I am always put together and  I don’t leave the house without makeup.

“When people ask me what I am doing with my life, I tell them that I am a Judaica artist.  I was granted five packages of raw material – human substance – and given the task of forming them into learned G-d fearing Jews who will make a contribution to their family and the community – beloved in the eyes of man and Heaven, individuals!  Sotheby’s recently sold a small statue for $100,000,000  (one hundred million dollars – in case the zero’s confuse!).  How much would they give for my artistic creation?”

“I don’t understand it when people asked me if I feel burnt-out or deprived.  Do they ask a doctor who sweats for five years to get his degree and another few years as an intern if he is neglecting his personal development”

“Motherhood is the greatest challenge to my personal development.  I was a spoiled indulged child when I got married.  I could just about boil an egg.  Over the years, I have learnt to be giving and compassionate, patient and diplomatic.  I never knew I had these qualities or that they were so important to life.  My husband and children have enriched my life.  Yes, sometimes I would like to read a book, attend a concert, or drink coffee with friends. I do not deny myself these personal pleasures.  I simply say to myself – not now.”

“I often think of my grandmother’s life advice – nothing worthwhile is achieved without hard work.  Sure, raising a large family demands energy and is sometimes draining.  I make mistakes.  I have learnt to pick myself up and continue.  Everything always works out in the end.”

“Before each birth, I wonder how I will divide my love to include an additional child and every time I discover anew that with each child, love multiplies not divides.  Children growing up in a large family have a unique opportunity to share and give and be considerate.  Of course, my kids fight and argue and have tantrums – like kids everywhere.  But, growing up in a large family is giving them the best tools for life.”

“The secret is to make your children your first priority.  I try to constantly be aware of their needs.   This demands thought more than time.

When my oldest had a major test, he found a candy in his school bag with a note wishing him success.

When Dudi was having a rough time in school, he got lots of extra ‘I love you’ hugs. My little one needs to feel good about himself.  I cooked him favorite lunch and told him that he is the greatest kid.   From time to time, we have a ‘king for a day’ project.  On that day, the lucky child will put a crown on his head in the morning and know that it is his day – the day that he is spoiled by everyone.”

“The climax of the week is the beautiful Shabbat when we sit around the table, talking and singing together.  No matter how exhausted my husband and I are, Shabbat is children’s time.  We tell stories, play games and check up on what they have studied during the week.  We relish the Chagim (Jewish festivals).  Each one has its special flavor that is almost tailor-made for children and gives wonderful family experiences.”

“Sometimes, I wonder if I am doing a good job.  My best endorsement came last week from my seven years old (the inspiration for this article).

He has just learned to read and proudly uses his Siddur (prayer book) every day.  With great self-confidence he confided in me, “Imma” he said, “I am praying to G-d that you should bring us another baby.  I would like triplets!”

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Thank you for reading Revital’s post. Please comment below! And check out Revital’s Judaica blog.


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6 Responses

  1. I actually do have a question.

    The thing that has always freaked me out about having a huge family is exactly what happens when your children grow up and move away? What fills your time then?

    This may sound nieve, but I only have one child (and I’m soooo lucky to have him), and I see how much time it takes to raise a single child! My son is 15 years old these days and he needs me less. As a stay at home mother, I’m suddenly, having to figure out what I want to do when he is gone.

    I admire your dedication to your children, but what happens when they have families of their own?

    • Renee, that’s a great question. I think that whether someone is a mom of 1 kid or 16 kids (whoa!), she needs to have interests outside of mommy-ing. I think that is key, because as you mentioned, when the kids are grown up, it’s like “now what?”

      I personally had hobbies and stuff that I enjoyed while raising my kids (some of that distracted me at times from housekeeping, but that’s another topic!!), and now I thank G-d for those interests, such as music, teaching, and writing…etc.

      My own mom never worked out of the home and we are a large family, but she was extremely involved in community work.

      SO many moms are (in my opinion) too much “into” their grown up kids, which shows caring but can be at times suffocating to the adult kids. I do know some grandmas who are totally devoted to their children and grandchildren to the exclusion of all else, and that seems to work for them. So I suppose it takes all kinds.

      Thanks for a great question.

      I wonder what Revital has to say…but then again her kids are still small-ish.

  2. chavi b. says:

    Beautifully written

  3. I agree, Chavi! I just met Revital and I loved what she has to say!

  4. Revital Belz says:

    Hello Renee,

    Thanks for your response to my post.

    From your web presence, I see that you are anything but a stay-at-home Mom, well done!
    So, I am sure that as your son grows older you will find plenty of interesting activities to fill your day.

    I really am not worried about what I will do when my children leave home. From childhood to middle age, we are all the time adapting ourselves to new situations. When the kids grow up, I will continue my study, pick up my hobbies, do charity work. My days will be full but I know that will remain dedicated to them and their welfare 🙂

  5. Revital Belz says:

    Thank you both Miriam and Chavi! Positive comments always make my day! so thank you ladies…

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